If you know me well you will know my heroes are people like Ghandi, Castro, Mandela and Guevara. All seen as revolutionary, all quite contentious in their actions and all marching to the beat of their own drum. This in a world where "the man" or the prevailing power structures call the shots. In Leonard Cohens song he said “everybody knows that the dice are loaded, everybody rolls with their fingers crossed, everybody knows the war is over, everybody knows the good guys lost.” We live in a system where the individual has very little power and where “good guys” come last.
These agitators for change were sometimes called terrorists - I see them as freedom fighters. Freedom fighters trying to get us to remember the Universal Declaration of Human Rights:
“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. These rights are universal and inalienable.
No-one, therefore, should suffer discrimination on the basis of race, colour, ethnicity, gender, age, language, sexual orientation, religion, political or other opinion, national, social or geographical origin, disability, property, birth or other status as established by human rights standards.”
So how do I stay a revolutionary when I am ill, unemployed and suffering from serious mental health challenges? How do I stay true to my values when they are challenged every day? How do I deal with the hostile environment around me without being overwhelmed and crumbling?
I PRACTICE GRATITUDE
In the most challenging circumstances I try to be thankful for the small things. I have my gorgeous Basset Hound Ziggy who loves me every day. Most days I have a cup of coffee in the morning which is a calming ritual. I have canvas and paint to express my creativity. Brendan supports me in the most practical ways - I would not cope without him. Although my friendship circle is markedly reduced and I lost my best friend due to this horrible illness of depression, there are some people who are constant supporters and for that I am grateful. My cognitive abilities are not what they were, but my creativity is in full flight.
2. I TAKE A LONG TERM VIEW OF THINGS
When you suffer from PTSD, anxiety and depression one of the most challenging things is to regulate your own emotions. Everything feels overwhelming and your brain shuts down and your emotions go into free fall. I need to remember Victor Frankls tenet of “between every action and reaction there is a choice”. So I practice seeing things in perspective - a single shitty day is not defining of a life, frustration at not meeting a goal does not mean you cannot achieve any goals, other people are mostly good and not “out to get you” - they are just careless with their words and actions. I think about the long run, my life purpose and then things gain perspective. I have learned the value of “just put one foot in front of the other”
3. I STILL HAVE ABILITIES TO CELEBRATE
I can't work because of my illness, and this has meant I have had to redefine my identity. For 40 years my identity was a successful careerwoman, exerting influence, earning good money and making a difference in the world. Now I am unemployed, financially stressed, my network has shrunk and I have many less opportunities to make a difference to people. But what I have learned through my art practice is that I can still conceptualize an idea, I can find imagery to bring it to life, I can use my right brain to express the emotions and the soft, vulnerable side of me to tell the story. Twice in the last few weeks I have made a genuine human connection with people over my art. A beautiful woman who was grieving the loss of her father and a young queer Chinese student who is trying to stake her identity in the world. Both these interactions were made possible by sharing our stories. Both these people needed to be seen and accepted for where they are at. What a privilege that art can connect us like this - it's like its own superpower.
How do you stay true to your values? How do you stay grounded and calm? How do you make meaningful connections? Let me know.
Yours in diversity
Audz
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